The New Year's Resolutions of a Secondhand Book Dealer

The New Year's Resolutions of a Secondhand Book Dealer:



1. Sell complete book stock to a wealthy accomplished soul to help fill out their country house library.


2. Use funds from no. 1 to finance a new perspective on life--or pay old bills.


3. Attain gainful employment. (Decent writer, half-decent after 5. Have worked many lowly jobs in life, so will likely do windows if asked.)


4. Write script for [the star of your choice] that will make kabillions, retire and raise Arabian sea horses.


5. If no. 4 does't pan out, write a book entitled: "How to write a script for [the star of your choice] that will make kabillions, retire and raise Arabian sea horses."


6. Answer that ringing in my ears.


7. Gain weight and ease up on the exercising.


8. See if Paul Shaffer can get me a job as a writer on Letterman, using the fact that I could fill in on guitar if someone calls in sick.


9. Find out who this Walter Mitty is that my wife keeps making reference to.


10. Make a pilgrimage to Pat Sajak re: the meaning of life, for he has been in a state of near Vanna for so many years.


11. Refrain from inadvertently annoying my dear wife with my overuse of the phrase: "My God, is that the time?" (Apt words for my epitaph, and a good choice of words for anyone's Less-than-famous-last-words.)

12. Find the feather duster.